Dumb lines from Narinig Mo Na Ba ang Latest? (Have You Heard the Latest?):

“Hindi na uso ang gentleman ngayon. Kung gentle yan, hindi yan man.”
(Gentlemanliness is so old-fashioned. If he’s gentle, he’s not a man.)

“Kapag hindi mo ginagamit, malalaglag “yan”. Cancerous daw yun.”
(If you’re not using “it”, it will fall off. They say not using “it” is cancerous.)

Sister: Cancerous yan kapag 30 ka na.
Me: Ows?