Category: Relationships

You’re still written in the scars on my heart*

Today, I was doing fine and well…until I heard this:
“I never stopped. You’re still written in the scars on my heart.”
(I hate you Nate Ruess.)

And thought…my god, that was me. I haven’t gotten completely over the pain and the thought of what might have been. Is it because you still keep showing up? Or that I carry the burden of the memory that you left behind? 

I thought I was done with the heartache, but I realised I have been carrying you all along and letting your memory cut through my heart and leave scars that will always be there. Sometimes, pain catches us unaware and the simplest words from a song shake us out of our pretentions that we have finally healed. I thought I was okay, and honestly wished I were, but why is the pain still there?

—————————————-
* Just Give Me A Reason by P!ink ft. Nate Ruess

On love: words that take your breath away

Love is not who you were expecting, love is not who you can predict. Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep, and you are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone, maybe love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for love. Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type. Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce, love is older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered. Maybe love is only there for a month. Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit. Maybe love stays- maybe love can’t. Maybe love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must. When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper, “Thank you. Thank you for stopping by.”

— From Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye’s presentation of their realistic view of love.

Mating intelligence

“Glenn Geher, an associate professor of psychology at SUNY at New Paltz, who, with Miller, edited a forthcoming volume on mating intelligence, is developing a mathematical model to demonstrate what many a grandmother has long cautioned: Women who are de facto skeptical of a man’s intentions are almost always better off than women who spend hours deconstructing the first date. (“He gave me his home number, he asked about my family, he mentioned a concert this spring—he must be into me!”) Geher found that if a woman cannot accurately judge a man’s romantic designs at least 90 percent of the time, she’s better off being biased. “Women using a ‘men are always pigs’ decision-making rule may be more likely to actually end up with honest, committed, and long-term-seeking males,” insists Geher. “

To be fair to the other sex, someone (not me) once wrote that all men are pigs, but not all pigs are men. Read the rest of the article, Love’s Loopy Logic on Psychology Today.

Love is a losing game

Before Amy Winehouse shot to international fame with her award-winning album, Back to Black, she was already mesmerizing a limited number of followers with her gift. I have to admit that while I had always known that with the way she carried on with her drug and alcohol binges, it was just a matter of time before her body gave out to the effects of addiction. Last Saturday, she joined the 27 Club.
A favorite from her first album, Love is a Losing Game tells of how love is a lot like gambling; only the player is often dealt with the losing hand. It’s a painfully sad yet hauntingly true assessment of the greatest of human emotions.

Love Is A Losing Game
For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game
One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game
Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand
Self professed… profound
Till the chips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand
Though I battle blind
Love is a fatal resign
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fatal resign
Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game