Category: Musings

Everyone harbors a secret hatred

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(alana davis)

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying past

I never try to give my life meaning
by demeaning you

and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I’m not saying that I’m a saint
I just don’t want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
I’m not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I’m beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you’re starving
and eating all of the words you said


Things would be different this time

It has been a long, hot, and boring five-day Easter break. Even when I was a kid, I dreaded Holy Week all because it spelled b-o-r-i-n-g. No TV, no radio, and worst of all, we were not allowed to play. All that boredom plus the weird beliefs, such as no one should take shower after 3:00 PM on Good Friday, eating pork was prohibited, and no one should climb any tree lest they wanted to be attached to it until after Easter made everything simply unbearable. I am glad I’ve finally outgrown these superstitions and the inexplicable requirement that we had to attend the “Seven Last Words” sermon on sleepy Good Friday afternoon at a nearby stuffy chapel. There wasn’t anything much to do but contemplate the sacrifice of Christ as if we children actually understood what it meant. I still don’t understand everything about the crucifixion, but I guess that part should be covered by faith, right?

Holy Week is still boring, but I’m glad that there are streams of DVDs and reading materials to keep me sane. Life was back to semi-normal by Saturday so there were malls and moviehouses to go to, my mom went to Baguio with the rest of the extended family, and I finished watching 17 episodes of season 3 of Grey’s Anatomy yesterday. Speaking of Grey’s, perhaps due to the audience’s clamor for Denny Duquette, the pre-season break episode where Meredith fell into a coma, showed another touching Izzie/Denny scene:

“I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time.
But I see you, you see me,

QLC: On being twenty-something

qlsA essay about the new phenomenon called Quarter-Life Crisis which I chanced upon a couple of years ago made a lot of sense even when I had not realized yet that I was one of the primary candidates for QLC. A book about the said syndrome was written, describing how a wider array of choices–choices that were not available to previous generations–may in fact not be doing people in their 20s a lot of good. So in a nutshell, if a person displays a combination, or all, of the following, then welcome that person to the world of the dazed and confused, the quarter-life crisis club.

Alas, life is not the big party that we had dreamed about in school; the “real world” is often painted in grays and silvers (whichever way you look at it), not black and white, or in any color of the rainbow, depending on how it was described in the fairy tales that your mom or kindergarten teacher read to you at home or in pre-school.

* feeling “not good enough” because one can’t find a job that is at his/her academic/intellectual level
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
* confusion of identity
* insecurity regarding the near future
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
* disappointment with one’s job
* nostalgia for university or college life
* tendency to hold stronger opinions
* boredom with social interactions
* financially-rooted stress
* loneliness
* desire to have children
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

On Plausible-Sounding Reasons

I’m on the last chapter of Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink!, a copy of which I borrowed from one of our project managers. While I will surely write a review of the book one of these days, I’d like to share one of the passages that provides a good explanation for why red flags should not be ignored, why good enough is not good at all, and why people find so many excuses for not walking away:

“…what happens is that we come up with a plausible-sounding reason for why we might like or dislike something, and then we adjust our true preference to be in-line with that plausible-sounding reason.”

Identity Production in a Networked World

Danah Boyd, a PhD student at School of Information (SIMS) at the University of California, Berkeley, presented a paper about how teenagers are using MySpace, which lately has been  receiving a barrage of negative publicity due to the death of a New Jersey teener who fell victim to an online predator whom she met in the biggest social networking site. MySpace boasts of at least 41 million members (including moi!) and is probably the hippest site of its kind as it also features profiles of music artists, downloadable and streaming music, videos and other newfangled widgets that make staring at one’s profile either eye-straining or simply pleasant. The network, which receives more page views than Google, was bought by Rupert Murdoch’s Newscorp last year for $580 million.

I created a Myspace profile not as a means to hang out but to network, and then eventually for downloading mp3s or getting updates about indie musicians which are a dime a dozen on Myspace. In the short span of time that I’ve been keeping a profile which I visit once in three to four weeks, I’ve experienced receiving a sales pitch, comments on photos, getting-to-know-you and hi-hello private messages. No proposals for sex so far, thank you very much.  Should the occasion arise, it’s best to alert the Myspace team should they be inclined to ban possible sexual predators. At one point, I was a social networking junkie and spent countless hours on Friendster which happened to be the most popular SN site in the country, and chatting with people of similar interest in online forums. However, I’d like to think that I’ve graduated from such pursuits as I find other facets of Web2.0 more interesting.

“So what exactly are teens  doing  on MySpace? Simple: they’re hanging out. Of course, ask any teen what they’re  doing with their friends in general; they’ll most likely shrug their shoulders and respond nonchalantly with “just hanging out.” Although adults often perceive hanging out to be wasted time, it is how youth get socialized into peer groups. Hanging out amongst friends allows teens to build relationships and stay connected. Much of what is shared between youth is culture – fashion, music, media. The rest is simply presence. This is important in the development of a social worldview.

“For many teens, hanging out has moved online. Teens chat on IM for hours, mostly keeping each other company and sharing entertaining cultural tidbits from the web and thoughts of the day. The same is true on MySpace, only in a much more public way. MySpace is both the location of hanging out and the cultural glue itself. MySpace and IM have become critical tools for teens to maintain “full-time always-on intimate communities” [4] where they keep their friends close even when they’re physically separated. Such ongoing intimacy and shared cultural context allows youth to solidify their social groups. “

From: Identity Production in a Networked Culture: Why Youth {Heart} MySpace